Pairing: Angel/Fred friendship
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.damnit.
Distribution: My LJ, Soulmates, and anyone else I've previously given permission to. Anyone else, just ask.
Feedback: Makes me all tingly and happy-like.
Warnings: Heavy Angst Alert!
Spoilers: Up to Orgins (I think).
Author's Note: Written as a thank you prezzie for Tonya for creating my LJ banner. I know it's been a while, but I hadn't found the right thing to write 'til now.
Author's Note 2: As always, thanks be to Gabrielle for the beta. You rock.
Summary: Sometime after A Hole in the World or Shells, Angel gets a visit.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Angel."
Angel ignored the voice, wanting only to sleep, to forget what had happened.
"Angel, wake up. This is important."
Angel growled and turned over, burying his head under his pillow.
"I know you can hear me, mister. I'm not gonna go away until you talk to me. I'm worried. You and Lorne and.and Charles and.Wesley, you're all focusing too much on me and I need y'all to focus on what's coming."
Angel opened his eyes under the cover of his pillow. It couldn't really be.no, he'd lost her, just like he'd lost Cordelia. All the women he'd loved were gone. This was just another dream, another nightmare. Vaguely he wondered if someone had dusted him with that powder Darla had used on him when she'd first come back. Only this time instead of hot, sultry dreams he was having nightmares of slender, sweet Texans coming back from the dead and.running their hand over his back?
The pillow came off and Angel rolled over to see Fred sitting beside him on the bed. He blinked and brought his hand up to her face, stopping just shy of touching her. "Fred?"
She smiled that sweet smile, "Hey there."
Giving in to temptation, Angel gently cupped her face. She was real and solid and warm. "But you're gone. This is all a dream, right? I've been stuck with one of those parasites again."
Fred laughed softly and turned to kiss his palm. Taking it into her hands, she said, "No, silly. I'm really here, but I can't stay." Tears filled her brown eyes and Angel ached to take her in his arms, but he still wasn't sure what was going on. Fred took a deep breath, "I wanted to stay. Wesley and I.well, I guess some things just aren't meant to be no matter how much we wish otherwise. He needs your help, Angel. Wes is hanging by a thread and I'm so afraid it's going to break. Illyria is a threat, but she could also be an ally."
Angel hung his head, "This is all my fault. I brought us here. I-"
Fred took his chin and raised his head to meet her eyes, "We all made the choice to come here. We knew the risks. I won't lie and say it wasn't a mistake, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. You have to live and learn. Y'all are about to give up and you can't. The biggest battle is coming and I need my boys to be ready to fight. Use what happened to me to your advantage. Make it work for you."
Angel looked at her helplessly, "How? How can you possibly ask me to find some benefit in having you taken away from us? God, Fred, I was suppose to save you from the monsters, not offer you up as an appetizer." The tears he'd held at bay since he'd found out his Fred was gone slipped down his cheeks now.
Fred wrapped Angel in her arms and held him as he cried. She knew he wasn't just crying for her, but for everyone he'd lost over the past few years. She rocked him gently and cooed nonsensical phrases. When he quieted, she said, "You did save me from the monsters, Angel. You brought me back from Pylea and gave me a home and a place to belong. All of you did, and I will never forget that. Now it's my turn to help you. I know about the Black Thorn. Losing me will get you in. You just have to spin it the right way. It's not going to be easy, but it'll help. You can't let the others know what you're doing though. You must serve no master but your own ambition. That's all these demons understand. It's a power play."
Angel shook his head, "I can't, Fred. I can't sully your memory that way."
Fred pulled back and made Angel look at her again. "You have to, Angel. If you want to bring down the Black Thorn, you have to become one of them. This is the quickest way to make it happen."
He could see the truth in her eyes, but the thought of doing that made him sick to his stomach. He closed his eyes and replayed the vision Cordy had passed on to him. He hadn't told anyone about it, hadn't known how. Now here was Fred handing him a way in. He didn't want to take it, it didn't feel right, but he was at a loss as to what else to do. Finally he opened his eyes and looked at her. "All right."
Fred nodded once, then looked towards the door of his bedroom. Sighing, she said, "I have to go now. I've done what I came here to do." She looked at Angel and stifled a sob at the shattered look on his face. She leaned in, resting her forehead against his, "I'll miss you, Angel. Take care of yourself and the rest of my boys. Y'all need each other."
Angel wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. His face buried in her neck, he rasped, "Don't go. Please don't go."
Fred wiped away her tears and pulled back a little. She looked at Angel for a long moment before giving in and placing a sweet kiss on his trembling mouth. "I have to, handsome man. It's my turn to help save you from the monsters." She quickly moved from his embrace and headed for the door. She looked back one more time to see Angel sitting on his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest watching her sadly. She said, "Just remember that you are never alone, Angel. We'll always be with you. We'll always love you." With that, Fred turned and walked out of his life again.
Angel sat there for a long time staring at the empty doorway.
Of all the mistakes he'd made in his long unlife, coming to Wolfram &
Hart ranked pretty close to the top. He eventually fell asleep again
and when he woke, he had a clear plan for how to bring down the Senior
Partners. It was as if Fred had visited him in a dream.
The end